Caring for an older relative at home: a practical family guide

When a father, a mother or a grandparent starts to need help, it almost always arrives suddenly and without a manual. And the family learns as it goes. Here is what is most worth bearing in mind: it is not everything, but it is what comes up most often in professional guidelines.

One note: every person is different. What their doctor or nurse says for their case takes precedence over any general guide.

1. The home: preventing falls

Many falls are avoided with small changes at home.

• Remove loose rugs or fix them with non-slip tape, and avoid highly polished floors.
• Keep corridors clear, tidy away cables and light the place well, especially at night.
• Handrails on the stairs and grab bars fixed to the wall (not to the tiles).
• In the bathroom: a shower instead of a bath if possible, a non-slip mat and grab rails next to the toilet.
• Shoes that hold the foot well and have non-slip soles. A stick or walker, if they need one.
• When getting out of bed, they should sit on the edge for a few minutes before standing up.

Some medicines increase the risk of falls. If you notice dizziness or drowsiness, tell their doctor.

If they have already fallen, do not lift them abruptly: first check whether there are serious injuries. If there are, call 112.

2. The skin: pressure ulcers

When a person spends many hours in bed or in a chair, the skin over the pressure areas (sacrum, heels, elbows) can break down. It is prevented with simple things:

• Check the skin every day, and keep it clean, dry and moisturised. No alcohol or cologne.
• Changes of position every 2 or 3 hours in bed. If they are sitting, they should shift their weight often.
• Pillows or cushions under the pressure areas, and heels clear of the bed. Do not use ring cushions.
• Clean, dry sheets without creases.
• Never drag them across the bed: friction damages the skin. Use a draw sheet to turn them.

If you see a red area that does not go away, a blister or an erosion, seek advice early. It is the start of an ulcer and is easier to treat at the beginning.

→ More on wounds: Caring for a wound at home

3. Moving the person without hurting yourself

• Back straight, knees bent, feet apart. Use your weight as a counterbalance.
• Get close to the person and move them with smooth movements, without jerking.
• Ask them to help as much as they can.
• If they cannot help or are heavy, better with two people.

4. Eating and drinking

• Varied meals spread over 4 or 5 sittings a day. Better sitting up.
• Drinks throughout the day, even if they are not thirsty. How much is right is for their doctor to say.
• Little salt and little sugar. For flavour, lemon, herbs and spices.
• Fibre, to prevent constipation.
• If they have difficulty swallowing: smooth textures, without forcing them, and never feed them lying down. They should be sitting up and stay that way for a while after eating.

Weigh them from time to time. If they lose weight without explanation, seek advice.

5. Medication

• Keep an up-to-date list of what they take and bring it to appointments.
• Use a pill organiser or a written weekly chart.
• Do not give them anything that is not prescribed, and do not share medicines.
• Do not stop a treatment on your own.
• If you have doubts or there are new symptoms, ask their doctor, their nurse or the pharmacy.

6. And you: caring for the carer too

This is the part that is most often forgotten. Caring for a long time wears you down, and if you break, everything breaks. These are signs that you are overloaded:

• Constant tiredness or poor sleep.
• Sadness, irritability or wanting to withdraw.
• Giving up what you used to enjoy.

What helps: asking for help without waiting to be offered it, sharing tasks with other relatives, setting aside time for yourself and using the resources that exist (home help, telecare, day centres). It is not selfish, it is what allows you to keep caring.

When a home nurse can help you

Sometimes the family needs trusted support that comes to the house. I can support you with dressings and care, monitor vital signs, check the skin, review how the medication is going, and show you how to move your relative without hurting yourself. It also helps when the family lives far away and wants to know how their father or mother is: I tell you what I see and what I recommend.

→ See the support and carer education service

Informational content. It does not replace the assessment of a healthcare professional or a medical consultation.

Last reviewed: 29 October 2026